Christmas movies started on Hallmark this weekend. Both the Hallmark Channel and Hallmark Movies & Mysteries. They even had their first new premier Christmas at Pemberly Manor. I was not sure if I would like that one being such a Pride and Prejudice fan but I did. The only bad thing, my Christmas movies kept getting interrupted by Halloween commercials. I have to admit I even listened to Christmas music this weekend.
I have officially reached stressed out mode over my upcoming Disney Vacation and Disney Cruise. And it’s not till December!
I have been in a funk lately, I’m not going to lie. A writing funk, a reading funk, a just life in general funk. Maybe I need a vacation. A little rest and relaxation to get the funk out of me. The weekends go so fast, it feels like no sooner they begin they are ending already. So maybe a week away from reality would do me some good. A week of doing nothing but sleeping, watching hallmark, and reading may be just what I need.
With my mom one of six and my dad one of three growing up I was not lacking for aunts and uncles. While I have special bonds with all my aunts there was one aunt I had an extra special bond with. She was more like my friend, I could call her up and we would just talk for hours (it seemed like). This aunt was my aunt by marriage so there was no true familiar bond. Tomorrow will mark the 14th year since her passing. Some days it feels like yesterday and others a lifetime ago.
This aunt is the kids grandma. So there are days; while holding the three year old in my arms, or laughing at something the four year old said, or fighting with the nine year old to do her homework, or watching the seventeen year old growing into a young lady getting ready to go to college; I can’t help thinking how much joy being their grandma would bring her. And how they never had a chance to experience her love for them first hand. Even though I’m not really their aunt I hope I can be at least half the aunt she was to me.
This past weekend I had an eye opening experience. I’m not 33 going on 34 like I was thinking. I’m 3.5 months away from 35! I know a age is only a number and you are only as old as you feel. Well this year I’m starting to feel like ninety. My knee hurts half the time and my foot hurts the other half. Okay, I’m getting off track now, time to get back to the point.
I’m closer to 35 than I am to 34 and I have nothing to show for it. I have no love of my life, no family of my own, and my job is only okay. The biggest excitement in my week is getting to watch all the hunky men on my crime and medical shows. I keep talking about making changes but it hit me this past weekend it’s time to end all the talking and start doing. I can talk till I’m blue in the face but if I don’t start doing I’ll be blue and need medical help and the ones in real life are nothing like the ones on tv. Trust me I work in a hospital and we have no McDreamy or McSteamy.
I’m almost 35 years old it is time for my passion to be at the forefront of my life. It doesn’t look like the white horse is showing up anytime soon and if it does with my luck it will empty. The prince will have fallen off the horse. And then I’ll have to go rescue him instead of him rescuing me.
My passion is my writing and it’s time to make my writing known. And maybe that’s by writing a book. After all part of me wants to. Hopefully next year at this time when 36 is staring me in the face I’ll have more to show for myself.